I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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