he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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