i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
