just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
