i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
