found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Randomize
