Michael Bay diarrhea
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
