you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Sex in the backyard? Check.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
