people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize
