i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
