So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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