Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
