We won't sleep together?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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