I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
