Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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