its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
whose ass print is on the piano?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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