um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
