I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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