she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
