Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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