She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
