Sponge bath it is.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
