i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
