I just threw up on my dentist
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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