I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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