So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
