I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
