Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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