I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
This baby is an asshole
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Randomize
