turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
