my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Holy shit dude........stairs
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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