I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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