I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Everything about him screamed your future.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Randomize
