i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
