he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
