so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
