I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
