We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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