He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
