Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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