I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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