I just saw a hot homeless man
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
