# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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