he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
