turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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