You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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