You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
