Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
