I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Randomize
