Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
