I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
